It's time for a post about 'The Novel'... the children's fantasy book that I began to write around five years ago and still isn't even close to seeing the light of day.  I'm working on chapter one at the moment. Yes, all these years later and I am still at the beginning. I'm trying to understand why I am struggling with it so much whilst deciding whether to keep going. Here's what has happened so far...

It all began in October 2011. I had never written a creative word in my life but I had spent many hours writing up legal reports and the occasional technical article. Then one evening I was standing at a bus stop after work, fed up with my job, wondering what I could do next. And it just popped into my head - I could write. ​

Couldn't I?

I borrowed some 'how to write a novel' books from the library and bought a few copies of Writers' Forum and Writing Magazine then jumped straight in. 92,000 words later and I'd finished. Easy peasy. I even had a few poor souls read my book from start to finish. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to them. I had no idea how amateurish a piece of work it was until several years and lots more words later.  I did, however, know quite early on that it was unpublishable as it was. I just didn't realise that the whole thing would need to be binned and rewritten almost from scratch. In an effort to learn more, I headed off to write short stories and dabbled in some fiction for younger children. 

I did ok with the shorts. Had fun entering competitions, got some wins and shortlistings and then self-published a collection of which I am proud. It certainly helped me to become a more accomplished writer and it also helped me to understand the standard I needed to reach with my novel.

So I set about rewriting my book around a year ago. This is after the three or four rewrites back at the beginning and another rewrite three years ago.

And I am still on chapter one, although I have a prologue with which I am happy.

"Just give up!" I hear some of you say. "Start something new with all the knowledge you have accumulated in the intervening years."  - and it is probably the right advice.

​But there is still something nagging at me.

First, I have had two children in that time and the baby is still only 6 months old, so opportunity to plan and write is limited to a couple of hours a week. It is hard to get into any rhythm or to progress the book in any meaningful way.

Second, I have learnt so much. I've attended courses, read articles, read a tonne of fiction aimed at my target audience and I have just discovered the Brandon Sanderson lectures on You Tube which I feel have brought my understanding on by a mile. I feel that I at last know what I need to do and what I am trying to achieve with the book. (Having the skill to do it is another issue...)

Third, I love the plot. It is a fantasy adventure and I can't let go of the world I have built. I do need stronger characters to inhabit it though.

There are many people who warn against getting caught in an endless cycle of tinkering and redrafting and never progressing. And I get that, I really do. BUT I have resolved not to progress until I am completely satisfied with the new direction in which the story is going. I can't afford to spend many more years on this project and so I will keep going until either I am happy with the way the new beginning sets up the (significantly) revised story or I will reluctantly abandon the project. Forever.

In the meantime, 'Into Dust And Other Strange Tales' remains 99p on Kindle and £4.99 in paperback. Perfect if you enjoy a taste of darker fiction.

Just a quick blog post today to spread the word that 'Into Dust And Other Strange Tales' can now be bought for 99p from the Amazon Kindle store (available HERE). It can also be borrowed for free from the library (Leeds - Rothwell branch). If you do read it and like it, please consider leaving a review - it makes all the difference.

​In the meantime, I have LOADS of ideas for writerly blog posts which I am excited to be working on and to share with you all.

Have a great weekend,
Bernie x